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When one door closes another one opens, and other clichés and truths that get you through the day
By Laurie | February 3, 2010
It happened a year ago today. I arrived to work a few minutes before 8:00 AM, and noticed my boss was already at her desk. She was never at the office before 10:00 AM. I knew something was up. Over the past few months I noticed that her attitude toward me changed. I was no longer the go-to person on projects. She gave me a hard time about taking vacation. I started to feel alienated. Office birthdays (especially hers) were always a big deal in past years. She completely ignored mine. It was a pretty miserable time. I had been telling my co-workers that I knew something was up. That things just didn’t feel right. I wanted out, but I really did like my job and the people that I worked with. I’m a hard worker; not a job hopper or a quitter. I was the one who was on time, did my work, rarely called out, and came in during snow and ice storms. I was willing to stay and make it work. I was loyal.
I had settled in to work on revising some spreadsheets for the new month when she came over to my desk and asked if I had time to meet with her for a few minutes. Everything that had happened the past few months suddenly made sense on that short walk to her boss’s office. I knew what was coming. I didn’t hear much of what they said. Something about them losing more accounts (ones I hadn’t even been working on), and how they were so sorry. I’m sure. The next step was the uncomfortable ride down in the elevator to meet with HR.
It’s amazing that you can feel both sadness, clarity, relief, and fear all at the same time. This had never happened to me before. I didn’t know what to expect. I was sad because it’s hard to leave something or somewhere you’ve been apart of for three years. This is someplace I moved to after leaving my job of seven years by my own choice. It felt unfair, because I was the seasoned professional who had trained the rest of the team who had no experience. I know it had nothing to do with my performance (I always had glowing reviews, received numerous awards, and had been promised promotions) and everything to do with my salary and declining economy. I also felt clarity and relief because I knew I wanted something more and this might give me the swift kick in the butt I needed to not only get out of this bad situation but into a better one all at the same time. And fear? The unknown is scary. Unemployment is scary. The economy is pretty much the worst it has ever been.
It was a hard time. I admit it. There were days my feet didn’t touch the floor until after 2:00 PM. I cried. A lot. Mostly though, I felt happy. Happy I wasn’t there amidst the drama and lack of professionalism anymore, and hopeful that something much better would come along. The hardest thing about being unemployed is that it is an extremely stressful time. I felt worthless. I felt unworthy of regular everyday necessities. I felt guilty for going to lunch. I felt angry at friends who vented about silly things happening at their jobs. I wish that I didn’t have that stress, because I really didn’t enjoy the break. I didn’t better myself. I didn’t have fun. I wallowed in self-pity. Yet I felt happy and free somehow. It’s hard to describe.
I can’t believe that it has been a year. I really can’t. Time has flown by. It feels like it was yesterday. No, I don’t have any hard feelings for that place or those people. Business is business. I get it. Yes, I have been somewhere new and that has given me the chance to move on and to start a new chapter. Sometimes things are not everything you dream them to be or want them to be, but you have to keep moving forward.
A few weeks ago I witnessed Conon O’brien make the most classy and professional exit from NBC and the Tonight Show. I tear up every time I watch it. This is how I feel. More people should really take note.
Here are a few more life quotes that you might find cliché, but that are somewhat comforting and true, especially during hard times:
+ In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.
+ Never tell your problems to anyone. 20% don’t care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
+ When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
+ Work like you don’t need the money, love like you’ve never been hurt and dance like no one is watching.
+ Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.
+ As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. You’ll have your heart broken and you’ll break others’ hearts. You’ll fight with your best friend or maybe even fall in love with them, and you’ll cry because time is flying by. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, forgive freely, and love like you’ve never been hurt. Life comes with no guarantees, no time outs, no second chances. you just have to live life to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you and tell someone off, speak out, dance in the pouring rain, hold someone’s hand, comfort a friend, fall asleep watching the sun come up, stay up late, be a flirt, and smile until your face hurts. Don’t be afraid to take chances or fall in love and most of all, live in the moment because every second you spend angry or upset is a second of happiness you can never get back.
Topics: Daily Ramble | 10 Comments »
Great Post!!! Hugs to you. In a weird way I’ve been in your place,,and my hubs is still working on getting out of that place. He’s so very close and I know that things happen for a reason and we’re just waiting for that next step. In in the end things just take time to fall in place.
Posted by: Jean M.What an insiteful story! I can only hope I take away as much from it as I’m feeling right now. Thanks for sharing, and reminding me that life REALLY is good.
Posted by: TrishYour better off and I’m glad you have moved on! It sucked the life from you!
Posted by: MBYes, I’ve been there too at one point in my career. My grandmom lived to be 101 and the title of your post was one of her favorite sayings. Glad to see you’ve landed on your feet.
Posted by: Cindi @ Moomette's MagnificentsGood post, honey.
Posted by: KristaThanks for the inspiration today Laurie! That was a wonderful post, sorry that had to happen to you.
Posted by: ChristineI am reminded of the Facts of Life Theme Song (not to sound cheesy), but you never really realize how true the lyrics of that song are until something like what happened to you happens.
Posted by: StaceySo true. I loved this post–you captured everything so vividly and honestly.
Loved Conan’s speech too.
Posted by: Kelly @ The Startup WifeI just found out today that I am being let go of my job at the end of July. I have been there for 2.5 years and have been very loyal (even when I knew it would be better to get out). I go into work tomorrow for the first time after hearing the news. I am going to go in there smiling, knowing I gained a lot of skills, made some good friends, and hopefully made some good change.
Posted by: VKI’m so sorry that is happening to you. While still an awful situation, I have to respect a company who actually gives their employees a few weeks’ notice. Getting blindsided was the most hurtful and disappointing aspect of my lay-off. It sounds like you have a fantastic outlook, and I am sure you will land into a much better situation as a result. Keep your chin up until then.
Posted by: Laurie